Archive for the ‘Thriller’ Category

The Midnight Hour

Posted: September 29, 2010 in Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
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The Midnight Hour

The Midnight Hour

Let me start off by saying that The Midnight Hour sort of reminded me of the Monster Squad. Not nearly as good but still fun to watch. If you like 80’s zombie and vampire movie’s then I recommend you watch this. Do you want the quick summary? Ok…you got it.

It’s about a group of high school kids that unleash a curse on Halloween night…Go Figure. That sounds so familiar doesn’t it. The kids steal a chest from a basement at a museum to get their Halloween costumes and find a sealed scroll inside. Well being the curious teens they were of course broke the wax seal and read it in the spooky graveyard. Why not right? Seems to me like the logical place.

So after waking the dead, they decide to go to a party. The main character (Phil) realizes he has no shot with the girl he’s in love with so he leaves and meets a hot zombie cheerleader (Sandra) that falls in love with him. So he makes out with her for a little bit in the back seat of his car. But wait.. A werewolf then jumps on the car and scares them. bwahahaha. So they tell the police but of course they don’t believe them…I mean come ‘on would you? Oh, the police captain is played by Red Foreman from “That 70’s Show”. Yeah, he’s a dick in this as well.

At this point Phil finally realized they woke the dead for real and he’s on a mission to stop it. They have to re-seal the scroll with wax and a ring by midnight. Sounds pretty easy to me… Well everyone at the party ends up getting bitten by the head Vampire (Lucinda) except for Phil and Sandra. When they get back to the party, the Zombies sing a song, which is exactly like Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”. and then chase after them back to the graveyard. They re-seal the scroll in the car and the zombies along with his dead girlfriend disappears. THE END!

Now doesn’t that just sound like an awesome Movie!? HAHA

Well I encourage you to watch it because it is rather enjoyable. The Plot is ok, the acting is ok, and the music is ok. I’m not exactly sure what the Opera singing near the end had to do with anything but whatever. There was also a part at the party in the basement when Lucinda bites a girl and the wine bottles decide to have a mind of their own. Look for it and you’ll laugh!!!  I’ll give this one a B– because this is definitely a B-Movie.

What you will learn from “The Midnight Hour”

1) Ketchup is a good alternative for blood.

2) Dead cheerleaders don’t decay.

3) Zombie midgets are a lot cooler wearing sunglasses.

4) The choreography at the end is almost identical to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”.

5) Sparkly Tinsel wigs will give you a rash.

6) If you drive real slow, zombies won’t notice you.

7) Rob Owens’ baseball card is best used in the spokes of a kids bike.

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Witchboard

Posted: September 27, 2010 in Horror, Thriller
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Witchboard

Witchboard

Growing up in the 1980’s, this was a great film and scarred the hell out of me.  When I see it now, I simply want to laugh at how ridiculously not scary this is.

This is a great movie though for anyone with an 90 minutes of free time on their hands looking for some good entertainment. Witchboard is about a demon that tries to possess a woman through a Ouija board. See…that wasn’t so bad now was it.  Simple and to the point.

I would have to say that for being made in 1986, they did a good job with the effects and making it look realistic. The acting was really poor but what do you really expect from an 80’s film. So they play the Ouija board and talk to some spirit (David) and the next thing you know people are dying. The plot?.. Well, the boyfriend (Jim) tries to stop the demon from possessing Linda. Pheeew… that was difficult.

One of the big errors I noticed in this movie was towards the end when Brandon gets an axe to the forehead bu then when you see him again, it’s on his cheek.

I guess what I’m saying is that if you want a good scary movie and you’re 8 years old, check this out. If you’re looking for some late night fun and you’re over 8 years old, check this out. Either way it is a fun and entertaining movie that is worth checking out. I’ll give it a B- for an 80’s movie.

What you will learn from “Witchboard”

1) The Ouija board comes from the French and German words “Yes”, Pronounced Wee-ja

2) Everyone needs a little psychic humor.

3) If you throw a Ouija board out the window, it will land perfectly in the garbage can.

4) The spirits are lousy spellers

Machete

Machete

Where to begin with Machete? Well I was expecting this to be pretty good considering I typically like Robert Rodriguez’s style and films. I’m sorry to say that this one really didn’t do it for me though. While it wasn’t a bad movie, I just don’t think it met all the expectations I had given it. It was enjoyable though.

Machete started off really bad in my opinion but it did get slightly better down the road. The casting agent should be fired for choosing some of the actors/actresses in this film. I mean come on, Steven Seagal…really? He wasn’t a good actor in the past so what idiot thinks he’s going to be good now. You’ll laugh your ass off when you see him walk in and speak with a horrible accent. Now some of the movies he did in the past (Under Siege) I like, but not because of his acting talent.

And then there’s Jessica Alba…Another one that should not be in this movie. It’s like they picked people that aren’t mexican on purpose and had them try and act like they were mexican. The acting by everyone was awful. Danny Trejo is the only one that deserves to be in this at all. He did a good (not great) job.

The plot of the movie was just ok. Was it original? Not a chance! The action and violence was good but this movie just needed something a little more. I guess the cast and acting is what brings down this movie the most.

I’m sure there’s going to be those people out there that are like “Wow, Lindsay Lohan gets naked! This is the best movie ever! ”  That is great don’t get me wrong, but don’t take that into consideration when choosing to see this. You should really only see this if you are a Robert Rodriguez or Quinten Tarantino fan and like their styles.

The dialogue in Machete was just flat out bad. It’s humorous though so some will probably like it. It’s reminds me of one of those bad 80’s movie’s you can’t help but watch even though they’re terrible. Yeah it’s that good…

So overall I thought the film was just OK. I knew what I was getting myself into and knew that it was supposed to be made like this so that is was kept me going. If you’re expecting a great Hollywood film that’s serious, stay far far away.

It deserves a C+ overall. B+ for action and violence but a D for the cast.

Eagle Eye

Posted: September 23, 2010 in Action/Adventure, Thriller
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Eagle Eye

Eagle Eye

Eagle Eye is just an all out great film.  From the moment it starts to the moment it ends you will be entertained to the fullest. Shia LaBeouf ( Jerry) does an excellent job in this along side of Michelle Monaghan (Rachel).

If you liked “Live Free or Die Hard”, then you can’t pass this one up! The action scenes were great and there actually was a plot (unlike some movies I’ve seen). Now I wouldn’t say it was the most original movie I have ever seen but it definitely was a treat to watch.

I wish Hollywood would make more movies that are as fun and enjoyable as this one. Non-stop action, great acting, and overall good storyline leads to success. I’m wondering why this movie didn’t get more hype.

Take it from me, go watch Eagle Eye and you won’t be disappointed. Overall I would rate it an A-

So I’ve decided to add a new fun little section in my reviews about people that obviously don’t know movies. Maybe I’ll make it a category and you can read the dumb shit people say but here is the first…

I was reading some reviews on netflix that people were saying and this one guy that didn’t like Eagle Eye actually said, “It could have used a giant spider at the end, I think.” Wow, ok so he’s completely retarded if you ask me. That doesn’t even make sense! So to all you readers out there, don’t always listen to reviews coming from people who know diddly-squat about movies. Trust in someone who actually watched the movie and not just the trailer.

See…wasn’t that fun! Stay tuned for more…